Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Elizabeth Street


3 Crappy Excuses for Not Having Sex

Sep 25, 2013

3 Crappy Excuses for Not Having Sex

After waking up at the crack of dawn with the kids and running at full speed all day, the last thing you have energy for at the end of the day is a romp in the sack, right? While you and your partner might have all the reasons in the world not to have sex, sometimes it just sounds like good ol' balderdash.

If you want to keep the romantic flames alive but don’t know how to balance your sex life with parenthood, you need to make sure you’re doing just that—balancing the two.

Not only is sex good for your relationship, it's also beneficial to your health. According to Dr. JJ Levenstein, "Serotonin is released during sex which produces an anti-depressant effect and a sense of well-being and contentment. Also, phenylethylamine is released and triggers the release of dopamine from the pleasure centers of the brain, resulting in a blissful, attractive and excited state of mind."

Next time you feel like rolling over, remember this list of oft-used excuses...and then consider changing your response:

You’re too tired to spend time together. Do. It. Anyway. Getting away from the kids for one night isn’t going to hurt anyone—in fact, it will help your relationship. So go out as a couple for a date night. You’ll be surprised at how energizing date night can be, and by the time you get home, who knows, you might both be in the mood…especially if the sitter puts the kids to sleep for you.

You don’t feel romantic. Sure, refereeing fighting siblings and changing diapers might not make you feel sexy, but it’s not all you’re about. While you guys might not be able to do regular candlelit dinners and spontaneous trips around the world, you can definitely try small romantic gestures like giving each other massages or writing love letters (or even a text message).

You never have enough time. Ok, enough with the excuses already. Make time! If you have to, wake up 15 minutes early or stay up 15 minutes later. You don’t need hours in bed to have some fun together. A hot quickie might be the perfect way to make you two feel connected until the next time you can spend some quality time between the sheets.

By Jo Aaron

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